the new Arminianist bible
No work = no pay, and that goes for God too! Need to work hard for more grace? Sick of those lazy Christians, who might lose their salvation, not listening to your bible verses? Then you need to read the new ARMINIANIST bible in all your strength!
Ever since the reformation, those pesky bible scholars have been misinformed about how God needs us to prove how worthy we are of His grace. With this in mind, the Pelagius society in conjunction with Zondavron publishing has made the bible with all the latest scrolls recently found in Antarctica.
Here’s a taste of what you need to pay for:
Jesus said unto them, just come out and say it if you don’t agree! the Father draws all men to me at some stage: and I raise them up at the last day should they keep their Salvation.
(Joh 6:43-44)
I hand over eternal life, then it’s their responsibility to be a good steward of it. My Father, which suggested them to me, is greater than all; and allows men out of His hand when they sin.
(Joh 10:28-29)
God thought about us before he made the world, holy and without blame before him in love: us having worked really hard while thinking about Jesus, according to the good pleasure of our will,
(Eph 1:4-5)
And then God said unto Moses, go back to Egypt, and do some more wonders before Pharaoh since I have forseen he will harden his own heart with no help from me.
(Exo 4:21)
You’ll get extra points with God by reading this version, and it’s available in red, green, black, white, purple, poker dot, striped, leather, paper back, hard cover, MP3, PDF, iTunes and any other way to make sure you stay cool with the kids!
$24.95 – $90.74 at most book stores.
I feel this Bible is just an exercize in redundancy since it basically says what the original manuscripts say.
on a more serious note it was actually harder to make fun with this version. Not that either ‘ism is right